From friends to lovers

Woman’s Own

Can dating your friend ever work out? Or is it a disaster waiting to happen?

My husband and I were colleagues, then friends for years - with never a spark between us. But after we both found ourselves single, and still enjoying each other’s company, someone asked me why weren’t a couple.

It was a good question. But can two people who have long-since mutually friend zoned each other ever take their relationship to the next level? Andy and I did, and it worked out great. We’ve been married six years now, and have a little girl who is starting school this month. I’m so glad we took that leap.

This week, I wrote about that transition from friends to lovers for Woman’s Own magazine (scroll down for screen-reader friendly text version). Buy your copy here now for the full article.

Screen-reader friendly text:

Suddenly there was electricity between us

Punteha van Terheyden, 35, lives in South Kilworth, Leicestershire with her husband Andy, 39, and their daughter Amelia, four.

For years, Andy and I were colleagues, then friends without a single spark between us. In 2012, we were single for the first time and looking for ‘the one.’ We met up every couple of months to swap dating disasters. His never lasted as he ended things as soon as he knew she wasn’t the one he’d marry. It wasn’t until we were taking a road trip to Manchester to watch Michael McIntyre in October 2012, that my mum, Ellie asked me why Andy and I weren’t a couple. We were great friends, he was attractive, a gentleman and we got on so well. I knew Andy would make a wonderful husband and father one day, but we didn’t fancy each other. Mum told me to ‘give him a green light’ and see what happened. I laughed, but that night, my arm touched Andy’s and I didn’t move away. He didn’t either. Afterwards, he put his arm around me protectively and I felt something I never had. We flirted the whole way home and both felt the electricity flowing between us. We met every week for three months. I desperately wanted to kiss him and I could tell he did too, but neither of us had the guts. I had a few cocktails one night with friends and they urged me to tell him how I felt. I did and he replied that he had feelings for me too. We went on our first date and ended up in a club where we kissed. Afterwards, things flitted between heated and awkward as we pushed past the friend zone. Andy worried what might become of our friendship if our romance didn’t last but I didn’t. Either we’d work out, or we wouldn’t. If our romance failed and ruined our friendship, we weren’t friends to begin with. But it never faltered. We both knew within weeks of that first kiss this was forever. Now, we’ve been married six years, have a daughter and are very happy together. I’m so thrilled we took that step. 

Do you have a tale of romance (or heartache) to share? Get in touch with Punteha now.